Recalling your tears, I long to see you so that I may be filled with joy. 2 Timothy: 1:4 NRSV
Occasionally, I meet people who are so darn happy that it makes me want to scream! Who the heck is really that bubbly all of the time?! When faced with everything that is going on in this world, can anyone really be this positive and jovial … all the time?!
In the past, I have tried to spiritualize my response to these over-the-top jovial encounters. I ‘almost’ concluded that I must be the problem. My relationship with God must not be enough to give me real joy. Surely, the reason why others are always abounding in such bubbliness is the joy of the Lord!
Today, I decided to ask one person about what keeps her smiling so much. She explained that she just makes a decision to do so. The answer seemed so obvious and a bit rhetorical that I paused. In the pause, she frowned a bit and looked down. Slowly lifting her eyes, she confessed that she wants to be positive at all times mainly because she doesn’t think that anyone else would really want to see what she goes through… and that no one would want to see her pain.
After I confessed my sins for being angry about her never-ending bounciness, I listened to her and stayed with her long enough to let her know that even in my busy schedule that I thought she was worth the time…. It was worth letting her know that I see her in her authentic state and I still wanted to spend time with her.
After I talked with her, I had to acknowledge to myself that I wasn’t so different from her. At times, I wear a mask too. Some of my frowns existed because I also didn’t think anyone could really see me. She gave people what she thought they wanted to see and I acted as if I can’t be seen at all.
In this brief moment, the power of being fully present with her gave me joy. I was joyful because for a little while she was free to just be herself and so was I. And in this time, I experienced someone who was absolutely delightful; shedding tears and still filled with hope for something greater. Through her tears, I was able to just be me and experience a connection of love that could only come from God.
My prayer for you is that you allow someone to see you today. Allow yourself to cry and tell others exactly how you feel. I pray too that you will see others, too. You don’t need to offer a solution or craft a clever response. Practice seeing someone. Don’t just see the outside, but try to see his or her heart.
God sees us. And there is not a place that we can go to hide from God. The greater challenge is allowing others to see us. I know that there are un-safe people in the world who really can’t handle our emotions and our pain. But there are some who can handle it and they want to be connected in an authentic relationship with you. Make a decision to just be you and build a community network of people who are secure enough to just ‘be’ with you no matter whether you are smiling or sad. You’re worth it. And even more so, you give others joy!